I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
false alarm. still invincible.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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