Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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