I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
