carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
