i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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