So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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