My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
