The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There r osticjed everywhere
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
