Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
