we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
