Define "chronic" masturbator.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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