Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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