I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
