You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
