i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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