Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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