just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he shaved USA in his pubs
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize