I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
