I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
