you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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