will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Is it because I queefed?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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