If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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