He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
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