it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
