well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
