Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
