is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
