I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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