at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
