so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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