used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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