last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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