dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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