i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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