great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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