Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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