So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
