Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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