I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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