Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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