Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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