Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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