my phone needs a breathalizer
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize