I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
