Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
