dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish you could order shots online.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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