Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
