ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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