I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
