You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
