How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
