a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
