is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
