we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
