just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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