i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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