believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
