My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
