my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It was like getting head from an anaconda
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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