I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Too much gin, very little bucket
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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