Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
