What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Randomize
