Whod you bang
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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