i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
