somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
