Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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