Sponge bath it is.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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